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The 3 practical questions to silence our ‘I’m not enough’ thoughts

As I already mentioned on a previous post, “not having what it takes” to go after or to achieve something was one of the most predominant thoughts when I was confronted with a decision or when I wanted to pursue something in the past.

Obviously, that’s not a very resourceful mindset. The problem was that I thought it had something to do with inheritance, genes or something that I was lacking and was not possible for me to change. What some people call “fixed mindset“. That is until recently.

One of the main take-aways for me from the book “The voice of your dreams” is a new way to deal with that mindset or limiting belief. In the book, the author shares three easy and practical questions that have the potential to dismantle such self-sabotaging thoughts.

These are the questions:

  1. Do I have the capacity to find the resources I need to be successful?
  2. Am I willing to commit to finding the resources I need and doing whatever it takes to be successful at this?
  3. What is the smallest possible step that I can take to get myself onto the path of realizing this worthy ideal?

As you can see, those are powerful questions that take the focus out of how we feel about ourselves (usually with a victim mindset, believing that we were born like this and there’s nothing else to do about it) and give us the power of choice.

Think about it. If I ask you “Do you have what it takes to write a book?” most people would say no. But if I ask “Do you have the capacity to find the resources you need to write a book?”, many more people would be positive about it. You could read other authors to learn from them, you could join a class or course to learn story-telling or creative writing, signup for a professional newsletter written by an expert with tips on how to find ideas to write about, etc.

The second question is what gives us the power, instead of acting like a victim. If we answer “no” to that question it’s ok. We move on and forget about that. But at least we chose not to pursue that path and it leaves room for new interests or projects. If we answer “yes” though, the next step is to think about the smallest step to get you started and taking action (for instance, buying a writing course or subscribing to a story-telling newsletter)

How does this apply to me? In my 30-day book challenge this month, which is about Aaron’s book mentioned above, I am applying the concepts that most speak to me and answering the questions such as the ones above.

Let’s take this blog as my most exciting project right now. I have been procrastinating starting the blog for weeks, if not months. And I was aware of that. I knew I had some kind of fear around it.

With my past mindset, to the question “do I have what it takes to create and write this blog” I would have answered “no”, because I would have thought that I wouldn’t have enough ideas to write about or that what I have to share wouldn’t be that interesting to people. The technical aspects of starting a blog was not something stopping me because I have been creating blogs and websites for a while now.
The main blockage was the content and my believes about my creativity or lack of it.

It was when I read and thought about those three questions that I felt I was enough to create this blog, that I have the capacity to find the resources, topic ideas and develop the writing skills to share useful information and help other people along the way. It removed a lot of pressure and weight from my shoulders.

After a deep introspection about my WHYs I felt I was ready to commit to this project and do whatever it takes.

The third question, was even easier. The smallest step I could take was start writing 500 words per day, even before having a website or a design for my blog (friends who really know me know that I’ve always done it the other way around: first putting up a website, spend days busy with every small detail and every pixel and then started writing. I’m kind of proud of myself, since this change means that I have learnt the lesson, I’ve grown up in that sense. Let’s see if the results are different as well)

Since I started writing this blog five days ago, I haven’t missed a day of writing at least 500 words. And it feels good! Actually this is my third post and I haven’t got a website yet (I’m writing on a computer word doc), which means I will have to upload these posts on my blog platform whenever I have one.

In my next post I will share with you my WHYs and the process (or processes) I followed to come up with them. Simon Sinek, popular author of “Start With Why” and best known for popularizing the concept of Why and for the talk he gave on the subject that became the third most watched talk of all time on TED.com; my coach, who always offers me the question of why do I want something, what’s the intention behind it, and many other experts put much emphasis precisely on that, on getting very clear on our WHYs before starting anything important.

So if you are in this phase where you want to start something or pursue your dream, now you have 3 empowering questions to ask yourself while silencing your “I’m not enough” thoughts.

Stay tuned since next time I’ll share the methods I followed to getting clear on my WHYs.

If you have comments or questions, feel free to share them below.
Did the 3 questions above inspire you to follow your dream or start something that you have been putting down for a long time? I’d be happy to know about it.

Published in 30-Day book challenge Mindset Personal emotional growth

2 Comments

  1. Sonja Sonja

    Dear Carlos, thank you for these thoughts and especially for these three questions. I think they are not only a great support in situations of decisions, but also when we have a lot of unrealised dreams and feel dissatisfied for them. They can help to find out which ideas are really worth investing energy in them. If I’m not willing to do something for them – okay, forget them! Otherwise they will give you a reason to complain about not being able to realise them, not being good enough etc.etc. In this way I can relieve myself from the inner list of projects I haven’t ever realised in my life. Okay, Sonja, forget them or start with the first little step. However, there is one step I would like to do something before: Asking me, WHY I would like to start with a new project. That seems to be even more important to me. Therefore I am looking forward to your next article! Love, Sonja

    • Carlos Carlos

      Hi Sonja,
      thanks a lot for your comment. Sure, those three questions can help in different situations, being unrealized projects and dreams a perfect example. And as you say, your WHY will be the fuel that will give you energy when you don’t feel like doing the required things we need to do in order to keep in the path or accomplish it.
      Thinking about your WHYs would be an appropiate step to take when you are answering the second question from the post. Actually your WHY could provide you the answers to that question.
      And you are right, it’s about time to release my next post about finding our whys.
      I’m going to tackle that task now.
      See you there
      Carlos

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