Recently I wrote about the importance of writing our new personal story in order to be free from the past. A couple of days after writing that, a similar thought crossed my mind. The same way that listening my limiting beliefs from my past was a waste of time, I may also be wasting my time right now not perceiving my current reality in the most resourceful way I can. I mean, why if I change now how I’m perceiving my current situation instead of waiting to some time in the future to change how I’ll perceive my past? Confusing, right?
The thing is, I don’t need to wait years to realize that my current life isn’t that bad at all. Actually, it’s pretty good (besides maybe career and financial situation). Our friends admire our way of living (putting family always first), the experiences we are having (living in two different countries so far), the risks we are taking (trying new school systems for our kids), how we are giving our kids different stimuli while helping them cope with new situations, etc.
Usually I don’t perceive my life that way. Funny how different we perceive our lives compared to how others perceive it, right? But, who is right? Who has the right perception? Ourselves or our friends? I tend to think that since I am the one living and feeling those situations, that I have the “real” perception about my life. What I think about it and what I feel about it is the way it is. Wrong! I also often forget that I have a gremling inside trying to keep me safe by tying a short chain to my leg so that I don’t step out into the dangers of being out of my comfort zone. Therefore, our perception of ourselves and our life can be wrong. Very wrong. Or maybe there’s no right or wrong. Just judgements.
In my experience, it’s the information that only we know -which our friends are missing- that makes all the difference. “Yes, but my friends don’t understand that I REALLY don’t feel prepared for this job”, we might think. “They ‘only’ know that in the past I’ve done good works and ‘seemed’ professional, but in reality it wasn’t that professional, at least NOT ENOUGH for what this company is probably expecting.” Sounds familiar? I hope not, but if it does, then know my friend that this is the voice of our inner gremling or ego trying to protect us. “Protect us from what? I really need a job!” It’s protecting us from the unknown, failure, embarrassing ourselves, disappointing others, even protecting us from success sometimes.
Whether you believe you can do a thing or not, you are right. Henry Ford
So, if we struggle in some areas of our lives, what if we start perceiving ourselves and our lives from the point of view of our loved ones about us? I mean, family or friends who really care about us, admire us or want the best for us. At least, we could borrow their perspective until we perceive ourselves as full of capabilities to find the best resources to achieve what we want or need. Our life circumstances should adapt accordingly to that new perception.
How can we do that? We can make a list of things we are grateful for and read it and feel it everyday and/or we can listen to our friends when they admire something from our life, since we tend to give other people’s opinions more importance than our own.
And remember, money and ‘success’ is not the best criteria to judge a life.
Give it an honest try and please let me know how it went.